Passive People in Transient Places
Life in Motion: Coffeeshops, Trains, and Airplanes.
Since the onset of Covid19, I have explored creativity in a flurry of attempts. One particular activity, sorting through my notes, always offers great insight into life and creativity pre-covid, and currently. I stumbled on a story I wrote on June 10th, 2019, and wanted to share it.
“Today an interesting thing happened to me. I was at my favorite coffee shop working, and then my brother called me! He does not call me often so when he does I get super excited and increase my decibels haha. While talking with my brother I noticed the woman next to me complaining to her partner across from her about people being noisy and it being really annoying while I was talking German, and then when I switched to English she stopped. At first, I was really upset and stormed out — bottling my pent-up frustration in an appropriate fashion so that I was able to return to my place composed, seated next to my bothered neighbor. After meditating and reaching composure headed back into the coffee shop and went to chat with my friend the barista. Dropping a line or two asking about what it meant to him about being noisy in places. They gave a brisk response that could be synthesized into “the noise level depends on the people and the time of day.”
After that I returned to my seat and started writing, I wrote another text to my friend who I had ranted to on my phone, “why was she so passive and could not say it to my face!” I thought why did I feel so attacked?
I decided that I would talk to her: to my delight, I found a creative way to engage with her. I told her that my friend is working on designing a tabletop sensor that is helping monitor noise and productivity levels.
[ I am still pondering on how to map the Full Diagram and Idea while taking into account, Proximity, People in the restaurant, and the cognition of the working conditions.]
And I asked her what her opinion was about where it is appropriate to be loud or not and followingly humbly apologized for the noise that was to her higher in decibels than appropriate. She followed by accepting and giving me her opinion: I reducing the superficial tension between us. I then thanked her for my opinion and went back to minding my own business, keeping in mind my reflections from the conversation.
A lot of times when you find yourself in a space, you try to make it your own, even if it is a public space. You look to make it into an area where you can focus and do what you set out to. Whether it is revising a manuscript or simply sipping on a cup of coffee, you are trying to utilize and enjoy the space in your own way. Then, the question becomes if you are really in your zone or not, and depending on that you may or may not be more sensitive to outside influences like people or music. For some, it is easier to block out, for others it is impossible to…
If you then encounter something that is disrupting your aesthetic or system of operating or thinking you get frustrated or annoyed. Whether or not you react usually depends on how you felt the entire day and what type of inconveniences you encountered and at what magnitude of occurrence.
Most of the time when you see a person is upset, you assume that person is targeting you. Meaning that they are upset at you, when in fact, deep in themselves they may just be upset with themselves or the day they had. Or the fact that it is another Monday. Or they are disturbed at a higher noise rate than expected, like the lady I encountered today. In these situations you usually are going to be completely reactive or ignore it at all: be one of the three people below:
Person 1: Might not really care, and I am in a public space and I am allowed to be loud.
Person 2: Came to the coffee shop to relax/work, and was not expecting a super loud atmosphere.
Person 3: Nonchalantly doesn't care and accepts the noise level as it is and trying as hard as he/she can to get into their zone.
The best creative reflex is to try to put yourself in the shoes of the person and try to engage with them if you are willing to take the risk of potentially receiving some criticism. But know you could also learn something new from the interaction like I did, which can let you understand why sometimes people act the way they do.
Side-note/Afterthought/Digestivo
I find out later that it is a couple that makes relatively quick judgments on people. As I see them grimace as a woman goes around asking for an outlet to use…….. Are these people more sensitive or seem sensitive until you get to know them— even if it is through a couple of words guided by your inquisitive mind?
They may have just been looking for a silent coffeeshop with low vibes to work, and their usual spot (The coffee shop I chose) just happened turned out to be a sore-spot.” There is definitely something to say about finding the right place, time and ambiance fitted to a person’s needs.
